You can't please everyone

I made a Facebook post yesterday about grandparents....

I realized after I had done it that it would hit a nerve since my situation is probably a minority situation.

I felt really bad about it but I decided to keep it up because it could provide an outlet for how we really feel.

Facebook can be such a fake world, sometimes real is really good.

anyway,

I've been troubled for my entire life because I thought differently, acted differently, behaved differently. The trouble has always come from outside of myself and often from those closest to me.

Why can't I just be like everyone else?

That would make them feel better about themselves, but would make me feel horrible!

As Popeye says "I ams what I ams"

Sometimes you can hold it together just so long and then you pop! ha! I pop with memes.

Then you have to remember who you are going to be held accountable to in this life (God)

Then you have to remember that you are here to serve and not be served.

Then you have to remember that you want to live your life with no regrets because there are no do overs.

I do not take for granted the blessings I have been given in this life. I know that I have been given a gift in that my family is all here. I know that I have been given a gift in that God has provided a way for me to be here and be dedicated to helping, teaching, loving these children.

And that's exactly what I'm going to continue to do because that is all that I know how to do.

I have had to fight against culture my whole life. I had to fight and dig in my heels to be a stay at home mom. I had to fight and dig in my heels to home school my children. And there have been thousands of little and big fights in between for a thousand other issues. I will not compromise. This is too important.

So you are either with me or against me. Either way I will carry on just as I feel that I am being led. I am only responsible for my own conscience.

Wow, a lot more came out than I intended. But I am being real here.

They say that everyone should just do the best they can.

So everyone should just decided what that is and what that looks like to them in their life.

And they should just live their life according

And so will I.

civil unrest

I am pretty far removed from the civil unrest that seems to be plaguing the more populated areas of this country.  The state of Maine has a low minority population.  That is not why I moved here.  I moved here because it has a low population, white or otherwise!

I don't have any answers to the problems in this country, other than looking to God in prayer to guide us and help us.  Without the Holy Spirit guiding us in love we will be lost.  We will be guided by our own human thoughts and desires.

My thoughts on the whole police vs. black citizens issues are this:

we are seeing the results of a society that has turned its back on God.  Descriptions of such a society are in scripture.  We know it, we are seeing it.  If the majority of young people are educated in a public system that denies God, then we are going to reap the rotten fruit of a spiritless society.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying that every child that attends public schools will grow up to deny God.  But they will not have a strong enough faith to withstand the onslaught of false teachings and thoughts that exist in this world.  They will not be strong enough to not want to be like everyone else.  That is what we are seeing. Its sheep mentality.  Take one away and you can teach them.  When they are in a herd, they want to think like the herd.  This is truth.

Protesting?  I approve of peaceful protests that don't infringe on anyone else's right to peace.
Rioting, Looting, Destroying is not protesting.  It is anarchy.
It does nothing to further your cause.  It puts everyone else on edge and then it's inevitable that more lives will be lost.  Because of fear.  I can't say I can understand the fear a black person has.  I can't say I can understand the fear a police officer has.  They both have fear.  Both of their fears are justifiable.

I am your average "white" wife, mother, grandmother.  I home schooled.  I taught my children to respect authority.  I taught my children to work hard.  There are no really easy, good jobs here in our neck of the woods, but I taught them to work for what they wanted.  Do whatever it takes.  Any job. Just do it.  We could have given them anything they wanted.  But we didn't.  They had to earn it.  Their love and fear of God factors into everything they do.  They were never young people who ran amok.  I've never been inner city dirt poor so i don't have that perspective.  I've never been upper class white suburban either.  Those seem to be the two classes of people that are out there causing the violence.  The rest are just trying to keep on going, working and praying, black and white.  Just trying to protect their families.

If you want your "world" to be a certain way then you have to go out and "create" it.  If you create it by violence then it will be a violent world.  If you create it by serving God through loving your family and loving others and working hard to provide what is needed, then your world will be peaceful and orderly.

The choice is yours.

what's going on?

We have been having a bit of a drought here along the downeast maine coast, but last night and this morning it rained A LOT!  That should help a bit!  It has also been warm and humid the last few days and this evening I have had to shut down all of the windows its so chilly.  Yesterday we cleaned the stovepipe so I know those chilly fall days are coming right along!

Home:  I have been trying really hard to keep a to-do list for all of the projects I need to do or want to do around the house.  The problem is that when I'm in the midst of one project I find more to write down so the list just grows!  But I love being home and doing home-related things, so it's a good thing!  I have been trying to pare things down a bit and simplify my life a little more so there is a box in the back of my van to take to goodwill.  That is a feeling I like.

Garden:  Julie picked a bowl full of green beans today and I picked a couple of wanky cucumbers!  I still have kale and swiss chard that I feed to my chickens because I didn't plant much.  There are a few baby bear pumpkins coming on and turning orange.  The zinnias and the cosmos are beautiful.  I didn't dry herbs this year because I still have so much from last year.  But I did make some flavored vodkas!  I made chocolate mint vodka and anise hyssop vodka.  I made simple syrup to keep in the fridge to add to it.  Yummm!

Family:  Everyone was over today and it was a wonderful day.  I wasn't sure what to make for lunch so I went through the freezer and came up with ingredients for a breakfast casserole to which I added pumpkin bread and white bread, salad, cantaloupe, and glazed carrots.  Then I made chocolate chip cookie bars and ice cream for dessert.  The boys all played well together and little miss Sophie got happily handed around the room for everyone to enjoy!  I love those times when a gathering all goes well.

Work:  I've had another stressful and somewhat aggravating week.  But there is a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel.  At the end of this month I should be able to cut my scheduled hours back to 15.  I will probably have 20 hours still but only if I choose to.  What I really want is to be scheduled 10 hours and fill in when needed and I want.  We will see what happens.

Homeschool:  Ethan (4) will "officially" start homeschool preschool this Wednesday.  We are going to kick off the school year with a picnic and playdate at the park.  I've been preparing his lesson plans from Horizon curriculum (A & O)  I gather what is needed and give his parents the lessons to teach.  They are responsible for the extras like arts and crafts and what not.  I will keep all of these lesson plans to use for all of the rest as they come along.

Wishing everyone a terrific week!

What's going on?

Here's what's going on in my world this week!

We are headed toward fall.  The season of green leaves is so short in northern new england.  There are already touches of yellow and red here and there in the woods on the wink.  We will still have warm weather (well, warm for us) and some humid days, but the wild sprint through summer is almost over.
When the crickets start to sing, you know it.  The stores are full of autumn and I even bought a few things myself yesterday at the Christmas Tree Shop.

Home:  I have been plugging along on some organizational things.  Mostly still getting paperwork under control and streamlined.  With the cooler weather coming I am planning on painting the master bedroom, already bought the paint.  Then this winter we will think about replacing the 18 year old carpet with new carpet.  As I have gotten older allergies have gone away and Jeff says he prefers the carpet over wood.  So this decision will be his!  We are having house guests for the next week, so I am putting off starting my big photo organization project until after Labor Day.

Work:  Things have been much better with my client.  So many things have gotten under control and it is more like it used to be.  It was a wild ride for a few months there--I almost gave up and quit--I'm glad I didn't.  I'm getting used to working the four days (20 hr)  and I won't mind picking up a little more until winter comes.

Garden:  All I am picking so far is flowers (glads and zinnias)  and green beans.  There are a few summer squash growing, but I know next year I have to hand pollinate.  cucumbers, tomatoes and peppers had a late start, and then not enough rain, but I will still get some through the next month or so.  The cucs actually look really good right now.   Picking wild black raspberries by the handful up along the driveway.  This year there is a ton of them, but there is also a wasp nest near them so it's a bit sketchy to pick!

Family:  The littles are all growing up.....sniff, sniff.....and running around like crazy.  Their favorite thing right now is to race each other across the back lawn (and I was thinking of turning it into gardens)  oh well.  They also love to go on "bear hunts"  up the trail out back.  One of our favorite books is "Going on a Bear Hunt"  Little baby girl is so cute and so snuggly, and is becoming more independent.  Looking forward to the next grandchild coming in February.

Misc:  I just purchased Horizons Preschool curriculum (alpha & omega) for Ethan to work through this year.  I will continue to put together book packets (books and activities that go along) and his parents will make sure he touches all the bases he should.  I like the Charlotte Mason method of learning using good books.  This will be a good introduction to homeschooling for his mom and dad.  I didn't home school the very early grades with my kids, but I did use the Lifepacs from A&O and I really liked them.

well, there you go!  Have a great weekend!

ignorant bliss

i'm a thinker.  i think too much.
things have to make sense to me.
i try to think about things until i can figure out how they make sense.....in some way....in any way....
sometimes it's such a stretch.
to try to figure out how someone else could possible even think that something makes sense.

are you still following me?

all of this thinking is getting to be too much for my brain.
the world has truly gone mad.....or has it?
.....maybe i'm the one who has gone mad?  some days.....
it feels that way.

at this point in time i feel overwhelmed by the world.
the entire freaking world that sits right there.....at the end of my driveway.
sometimes i feel like i want to just stockpile food and quit my job, cancel the tv and internet and just...........live in ignorant bliss for a while.
i really, really, really could do this!!!

but!  is that being realistic?  no....probably not.
could i just pick one or two of those things off of that list and do those???

the fact of the matter is this:  would burying my head in the sand save just ONE baby from being violently ripped from its mothers womb?  would it convince just ONE person to seek Jesus and not be a slave to sin?  would it do anyone any good?  including myself?

there are too many voices out there leading people astray.  there are too many Christians out there who are silent on the topics of sin and repentance.  they want to just say "my job is to love and God's job is to judge"................
......................really?
do we really want to just love people all the way to HELL???????

no one wants to offend.  no one wants to "judge"  no one wants to be that lone voice.
but i do.  i don't know why, but i do.

you see, there are these boys.  and i hate the world they must grow up in.  this world is dangerous, deceitful, and sinful.  the weight of feeling responsible for passing on God's word, teaching them to have a biblical worldview, and showing them how to live a godly life, well, it weighs heavy on me.
extremely heavy.  it seems to be so daunting of a task. my heart aches to think of any of them being led astray because we dropped the ball.  because we didn't want to offend.  because we didn't want to be different.

 because we wanted an easier life lived in ignorant bliss.........................

the soundtrack of our lives

i remember the first time i went to a baptist church.  the year was 1981 and the preacher was droning on about the evils of rock and roll music.  now, i was more of a "pop" music kind of girl, but i guess it's all the same.  i remember thinking to myself and then spouting off to jeff "this guy is judging my music and he is just old and out of touch!"

fast forward to approximately 1993.  up until this point secular music was the soundtrack of our life, in addition to disney songs and kids bible songs.  at this point my kids were 10, 7, and 5 and they are just beginning to sing along with the music.  hmmmmm........

a few more years pass and we start homeschooling.  i am being convicted left and right about things in my life and how i am raising my family.

.....and i notice that the kids are more and more being influenced by what their peers are listening to.
.....and a light bulb goes off in my head!

words are powerful.

sing them over and over again to a catchy beat and tell me they have no impact on your life.

by 1996 its christian contemporary music all the way at our house.  the new soundtrack to our days consisted of dc talk, audio adrenaline, and 4him just to name a few.

when the kids grew much older i could no longer "control" everything they did.  i know they joined their disillusioned peers and listened to some stuff that neither i nor their God would approve of.  at the same time i also backslid into listening to more and more "classic rock"

but i have been convicted again in regards to music.  probably because of all of these impressionable little boy faces that look up to us for guidance.  i will listen and even sing along to secular music only if i think it is something that God would smile upon.  sorry lady gaga music, you are in the trash can where you belong.  the words of the world have no place in my mind or on my lips.  it is a constant, daily struggle to try to keep my mind and heart pure.

i am so thankful for KLove radio and i proudly support it.  christian contemporary praise and worship music is a blessing in my life.  what joy to sing praises to my God!  what comfort to sing of His hope! and what lessons to take in as you sing these songs.

Day #15 Honoring God's name

Well, here is another topic that has given me some stress lately.

Using the Lord's name in vain.

That is how I was taught to recite this commandment.

Do not use the name of the Lord in vain.

The bible I'm currently using says:

Do not misuse the name of the Lord your God.  The Lord will not let you go unpunished if you misuse his name.


vain:  having no real value, worthless, without effect, futile, fruitless, profane

Now, I'm not absolutely innocent in the use of the name of God.

However, there is a difference between  a slip and remorse & constant use.

And when you say "Oh my goodness, Oh gee, jiminy cricket, jeesum crow (never heard that one until I moved to Maine), etc.  you get the idea........these are all substitutes........and I was taught that they were wrong also.

A popular one among devout Christians is "Oh my word!".................again..................just the same as you saying "Oh my ***"  (even doing that was wrong, i repent....)
"Word" is another name for Jesus.


Sooooo, I've been trying to use "holy moly" as my most favorite exclamation. If someone can let me know if that somehow is not a good substitute I would be extremely grateful.

You see, I'm trying to keep my little grandsons from growing up having a disrespectful attitude toward the name of God.  (or names of God)

In today's world that is a HUGE undertaking

Day #11 busy bags

since i am firmly entrenched in baby/toddler/preschool land for quite a while, i decided it was time to start getting my resources together

busy bags?  never heard of such a thing.  back in the day i just had a cabinet full of stuff to pull out to keep them busy.  organizing it into bags that you can just grab quickly---awesome!  why didn't i think of that?

so i made a trip to dollar tree and walmart and between that and stuff i had laying around the house i came up with nine bags this week.  five are pictured above

from top left:  pool noodles cut into 1" chunks and a shoestring
                     painted clothespins and foam sheets
                     big buttons to sort and put into the slot in the cups
                     egg carton sorter color sorter with poms
                     pipe cleaners with a cool whip container (holes drilled in top)

i also made:  melissa and doug "colorforms"  i found at tjmaxx
                    a bag with 4 four wheeler vehicles
                    a bag with 4 dinosaurs
                    color, numbers, shapes flash cards disney & pooh

i used zip lock bags of varying sizes (dollar tree even has the 2 gallon ones!) and for now i put them all in a box and they are going to ethan's house.

you see, ethan is not quite two years old and he has a little brother who is four months old.  ethan needs occupying while momma feeds calvin because he is acting out for attention.

i love this idea and the idea of making them educational.  i'm planning on making lots more and keeping them available for all of my children to borrow.
                   

being positive

always moving forward.
trying to be positive
life is what YOU make it
not what others try to make it for you.

there!

august in downeast maine is usually one of the top 3 months of the year. bugs are usually gone, sunny days, cool nights.  its been a wet summer so far, wetter than normal but not horribly dreary. and i'm still getting bit by black flies and mosquitos.

it is a beautiful morning here after a cold night.  i think it got down into the upper 40's.  but its supposed to be around 80 today.  i have no where i need to go today, and for that i am thankful.

breakfast is done, jeffs gone to work, laundry is started and some vacuuming done. now i'm enjoying my 2nd cup of coffee.

i guess i'm sticking with this blog being a glimpse into my life.  someone might wonder what its like to live in a double wide on six acres in the middle of the woods somewhere along the coast of maine. they also might be curious how others are coping/enjoying having an empty nest and enjoying their ever-growing families.

what are we doing? what are we cooking? what are we crafting?  some of us may still be in the midst of homeschooling, others finished, and others like me planning the schooling of the next generation.

i guess this blogs about sharing. 

i'm curious about what its like to live in other parts of this great country.  i like to find out what other like - minded people are up to.  and i like having a connection with others that i can't have any other way.  i've made some really good friends (on xanga) that mean the world to me, and i've never even met them.  someday i hope to!

anyway, if you are just happening upon this blog, welcome!!!  i'm going to try to be upbeat and optimistic from this point on. however, i am human, and at times have my trials and need to get it out, so that may happen too!

if you are an old friend, thanks for caring and reading my blog. i'm trying to keep up with others blogs, the ones on blogspot are easier than the ones on wordpress, and i'm gone from xanga altogether.

gotta go! lots of stuff on my to do list today : organize and clean cabinets in the mud room, walk minimally two miles, weed my garden and see whats ready to be picked today, and do some crafting; right now i'm working on my daughters baby shower invitations.

have a great day!