the secret to a happy marriage is.....

THERE IS NO SECRET!!!

nothing at all can change the fact that growing a marriage and family is the hardest thing you will do for your entire life.

a long and happy marriage requires the husband and the wife to be selfless.  it's not a trait that everyone comes into marriage possessing.  sometimes it has to be learned.  sometimes it takes quite a while to get there.  that is why you should never give up.

you must wake up each day willing to go the extra mile or extra thousand miles for your spouse.  you must be willing to put their needs before your own.  it is dying to self fifty x fifty times a day in order to correct your course.  have i always known this?  have i always done this?  no.  but i am taking one day at a time.  we are taking one day at a time.  determined to get it right!

it is a shame that so many marriages fail because the people involved are only thinking of themselves, what they need, what they want. they don't want to invest the time it takes to see the results of living in a selfless way.

the benefits enjoyed are directly equal to the effort employed.

we are all inherently self-centered, selfish, and sinful.  it is a daily discipline to learn to be the opposite.

this is why God created marriage:  for mutual support,companionship, love, procreation, and revealing himself and His goodness.  the family, as God created it to be; father, mother, children, is a perfect picture of Gods love and care and provision for us.

as in everything else, God desires and deserves to be a part of our marriages.  He is the glue that holds it all together, just as He is the one that holds the planets spinning in space.  He is our creator and our sustainer in all things.

when we are happy, we praise Him!
when we are sad, we praise Him!
when it all seems to be falling apart, He will help you put it back together.

a good marriage is a good witness for Christ and His kingdom.
a marriage with God truly at the center cannot fail.

today is our 32nd wedding anniversary.  we have had our share of discontent, but we have also had more than an  abundance of happy!  because we built our life together on the solid rock--nothing could destroy it.

God owns this marriage.  what the world considers disposable we know to be eternal.
this marriage is refining us, teaching us, molding us into what God created us to be.
with each passing year it brings us closer to Him.

the soundtrack of our lives

i remember the first time i went to a baptist church.  the year was 1981 and the preacher was droning on about the evils of rock and roll music.  now, i was more of a "pop" music kind of girl, but i guess it's all the same.  i remember thinking to myself and then spouting off to jeff "this guy is judging my music and he is just old and out of touch!"

fast forward to approximately 1993.  up until this point secular music was the soundtrack of our life, in addition to disney songs and kids bible songs.  at this point my kids were 10, 7, and 5 and they are just beginning to sing along with the music.  hmmmmm........

a few more years pass and we start homeschooling.  i am being convicted left and right about things in my life and how i am raising my family.

.....and i notice that the kids are more and more being influenced by what their peers are listening to.
.....and a light bulb goes off in my head!

words are powerful.

sing them over and over again to a catchy beat and tell me they have no impact on your life.

by 1996 its christian contemporary music all the way at our house.  the new soundtrack to our days consisted of dc talk, audio adrenaline, and 4him just to name a few.

when the kids grew much older i could no longer "control" everything they did.  i know they joined their disillusioned peers and listened to some stuff that neither i nor their God would approve of.  at the same time i also backslid into listening to more and more "classic rock"

but i have been convicted again in regards to music.  probably because of all of these impressionable little boy faces that look up to us for guidance.  i will listen and even sing along to secular music only if i think it is something that God would smile upon.  sorry lady gaga music, you are in the trash can where you belong.  the words of the world have no place in my mind or on my lips.  it is a constant, daily struggle to try to keep my mind and heart pure.

i am so thankful for KLove radio and i proudly support it.  christian contemporary praise and worship music is a blessing in my life.  what joy to sing praises to my God!  what comfort to sing of His hope! and what lessons to take in as you sing these songs.

empty nest vs full life

there are moments when i really feel..... or realize....... or deeply think about the fact that my kids are grown and moved out and have their own homes and families.

it is a weird feeling.  i've got to say that it will probably take me decades to shake this feeling.  maybe i never will?

i miss having them here under the same roof and i miss all of the things we used to do together.

........and then again,

i like this quiet time.

i can do what I want!

but the reality is that i do all the same things.  it's just much more quiet.

i think about them all of the time.  when i wake up, when i go to bed, all throughout the day.  i pray for them.  for their days, for their marriages, for their parenting, for their health and for their safety.

i think that a mother can't help it.

yeah.....it's an odd feeling this empty nest brings.

but it's not truly empty.  not all of the time.

it is fuller.  sometimes to overflowing.

and then quiet again.

someday maybe i will get used to the rhythm of this season.

and in the meantime i will enjoy it.

i was born that way?

i was born with a desire for carbs.  i love bread!!!!  i have struggled with this and its resulting effect on my figure for my whole life.  if i wasn't born that way, then being exposed to overeating of bread or other carbs  in my formative years contributed to my sinful desires for bread/carbs in my life.

i have a problem.  too much carbs in my life is not healthy for me.  it's just not good for me.  it is an unhealthy lifestyle.  some people might even say its a sin because sometimes i eat too much bread even though i know its wrong.  it very well may be.

now.....should all of the skinny, non-carb addicted people in the world despise me as a person and punish me by throwing rocks at me?  should they "create" laws specifically designed to punish me for this?

the answer is no.

and.....

should i force them to accept my carb addiction as an acceptable way of life?  teach the little kiddos that eating too many carbs is okay and normal?  should i make it illegal for anyone to speak out against the practice of over indulging in carbs?  should i humiliate them into silence about the dangers of a carb-filled lifestyle?

also the answer is no.

i need help!!  be my friend.  love me as you should love your neighbor.  and pray for me to overcome my carb loving lifestyle.  i know that with willpower and focusing on the way that God would want me to live my life to honor him that i would be humble and work toward being selfless in every area of my life.

including my attraction to bread..

it's not about LOVE

they like to call it a "love" issue.

if you are against people loving one another, then you are a hater.

heck, even Jesus preached a message of  "love one another".

so christians, how can you believe that it is wrong to "love one another" ?

well.....we can believe that it is wrong, in regards to homosexuality, because it's not about love.

..................it's about sex.

it's about what scripture says is normal, natural, God designed

as opposed to what man says is normal or man designed.

(now don't make me quote scripture here.  we all know it's there)

it's about what scripture tells us is wrong, ungodly, detestable.

(yup....it's in there)

no one in scripture ever came right out and asked Jesus about sexual relations between the same sex because they already knew the answer.  duh. (sodom and gomorrah were real to them)

so, if today, in 2015, Jesus came back and we could ask Him to elaborate His thoughts on this topic, He would give us His answer, probably in a parable which would refer us back to the scriptures.
(again, we all know which ones, don't make me quote.....but  i will if asked to nicely)

He would tell us to "love one another" and not to judge or condemn anyone, while at the same time He would tell us to avoid sin and the appearance of sin.  and.........................

..........................homosexuality is a sin.

yup...................lumped in there with lying, cheating, stealing, adultery, murder, drunkenness, and other sexual sins.  sin comes in many forms and lust for the same sex is one of them.

and..................

then there is the woman at the well.  the adulterer.  a sin.  Jesus told her that He did not condemn her.  He was paying the penalty for her sins because He loved her.

and.........................

then He told her to "GO AND SIN NO MORE."

you see, it's not a LOVE issue.  it's a self control issue.  sex was designed by God as a means to create a family and bond it together.

our sinful natures have made it into everything and anything anyone wants it to  be.

do I judge the homosexual?  in the biblical sense?  do I condemn them?  in other words.....

am I deciding their fate for all eternity?   no, i'm not.

God is the judge and all will be judged and either condemned or redeemed based on their faith in Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

can I be saved through Jesus from eternal punishment and still sin?  yes, i can.

therefore.................a homosexual can be saved, however, they will have to falsely interpret or totally disregard scripture if they want to continue being unrepentant of that sin.  this will lead to them suffering in body and spirit and also potentially causing others (christians)  to stumble in their walk.

if they remain unrepentant and militant, and prideful regarding their sin, then their salvation must be questioned and their theology considered false.

these are the most dangerous people because they can lead others astray in the name of Christ.

so...............................

should we as Christians LOVE all people?  yes.

should we follow them blindly and quietly down a path of destruction?  no.

screen obsession

disclaimer:  i have wanted to live a tv free life for at least the last 20 years.  i'll probably never get my wish, but i can dream......................

this post is about that & the way the world is now a days with all this "connectiveness"


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

detached.........but connected.

facebook, twitter, instagram

likes, comments, followers, friends?

television, netflix, cable, 24 hour news, talking heads

watching people do stuff and go places instead of doing or going

watching fiction, fantasy, recreations, crime dramas.......aliens, bigfoots, monsters........

ignoring your kids, families, friends, strangers, obligations

to stare at a screen.....

        a black box on the wall

                                  table

                                         in your hand

                                                     on your lap

no conversations

just the tapped out words on a screen

                             or

     the endless blabbing on

mute the life in the box, but don't turn it off

screen relationships are easier.  you can walk away when you tire of it.  don't have to invest too much of yourself.

to know more about what's going on in the world

                  than you do about the people right in front of you

to seemingly care more about what a stranger on a screen has to say than what the person

right there with you has to say.


it's a shame........................

tune out.......................turn off...............................LOOK UP!!!!!!

set a timer

have a life

i'm really hoping that there is no television in Heaven.

i fantasize daily about bashing the television to bits with a baseball bat....................................

our grandsons

we've got five of them!

 joe, (center) he's the oldest at 3 1/2.  brown hair with a double cowlick and brown eyes. he smiles with his eyes and crinkles up his nose and little mouth.  when he's really excited about something he will hop from foot to foot and clasp his hands.  he does that a little less as he gets older.  he absolutely loves to cuddle up and be read to or to watch "tunes" (cartoons).  he remembers everything you tell him.  he gets jokes and sarcasm already.  he seems to be growing like a weed--tall and thin.

ethan(right end), he comes second at 2 1/2.  he is our little towheaded whirlwind!  he is learning and testing his limits daily.  he is fearless and wild while at the same time he is sweet and kind.  he does have a devious & raspy laugh! and he loves to get a rise out of someone!  cars of all kinds are his favorite toy.  we love to see his smiling face in the window when we come down the driveway!

luke (green stripe shirt) is third at about 17 months.  he is our little tough guy.  he doesn't take anything from anyone.  he holds his own with the big boys.  and how to describe his smile? he always seems like he is up to something!  he is also the snuggliest and huggiest of all the boys--he hugs you tight and hangs on!

charlie (left end) is fourth and he is 14 months old.  he is very serious and contemplative.  he is content to do his own thing and he is very guarded of his personal space.  he is slow to warm up to you but when he does you are his friend!  when we come to visit he runs up to me and puts up his arms to be picked up and it makes me just melt!

calvin (dark blue shirt) is fifth in line and he is 13 months old.  he is the only one that is not quite walking yet.  when this boy smiles--watch out!  he smiles with his whole face and his laughter is contagious.  he is also quiet and cautious, but when he finally starts to walk we will probably see that change.

these boys are what make life wonderful and we are so blessed to have them in our lives.