Expendable

 Expendable

That's how I feel a lot of the time.

I am a wife

I am a homemaker

I am a grandmother

I am needed

when i'm needed

I am considered

when i'm needed

I am thought of 

when i'm needed

I am included 

when i'm needed

I am useful

when i'm needed

I am a person that has no needs

or so it seems

be there

be available

take care

cover it

i am tired 

of being needed

i want my own life

totally of my design

do I dare?

design my own life

at this stage?

How to deal with discouragement

 

a pretty, little leaf on my dirty garden hand

It is hard to not give in to discouragement.

This sinful world we live in works against the spirit who lives inside us.

The world will never win, let's be clear on that!

It's a weird situation, but so natural at the same time.

God lives in me.

I am not my own.

Yet, I have autonomy in regards to my actions and reactions.

I am human.

I am saved.

But still just as capable of sin as everyone else.

I have the comforter with me.

Yet I am still suseptible to despair and discouragement.

I need to be more aware in each little moment of sitting back, breathing, and letting go.

I don't have to do everything, know everything, solve everything.

I just need to lean on my comforter and let His spirit envelope me like a warm, soft blanket.

I need to use this season of joyful colors in nature to really and truely feel the joy of the Lord!

I've been walking more on the path out in our woods (I have a half mile loop)  It's been a rainy summer and the green moss has created a beautiful carpet on the path.  I think because we raked the whole path last fall.  It's so peaceful.

Empty Nest Brain Dump

 This morning I deactivated my facebook account.

The world

near and far

is becoming too much for me right now.

So I drank my cup of coffee, showered, and went outside for a walk.

Sat on the swing out back

Came back inside and made a picnic lunch for Jeff and I, 

Then went to church.

It's the real world that matters.  The one right here.  The one I can touch.  The one I can make a connection with and feel like it really matters.  

I've made a few really wonderful connections through the internet.  Friends for life even though we have never met in person.  I actually made those friends through blogging (xanga) but we all wound up on facebook.

That is the part that tugs at my heart.

After church Jeff and I went to a nearby beach with our chairs and our picnic lunch.  It was cloudy and not quite 70, but it was very relaxing.  We talked a lot.  We have a lot of conversations lately about me letting go of things.  Expectations mostly.  Trying to live my life for me, for us, and not for everyone else.  I guess I'm still having a really hard time switching gears between motherhood/full nest and grandmotherhood/empty nest.  How dang long should it take?  It's been 10 years!

I'm very thankful for all of my grandchildren (there's 12)  But I have to keep reminding myself that I am no longer the center of that world.  I'm on the periphery.  I'm a satellite and not planet mom.  

The sooner I accept that 

The happier I will be.  

Let's get to this!

 It's been a really long time since I have posted on this blog.

I've been suffering from social media mental disorder.

I loved my old blogging days.

Sometimes I vented.

Sometimes I talked about my life/day.

Sometimes I shared helpful information.

Facebook is hell.

And it's going deeper.

Instagram is strictly for "influencers"----no thank you

Pinterest, while being somewhat helpful

Is full of Ads with images that are offensive to me.

Sometimes I can't get past it.

So,

I'm going to try coming back here.

To find the good things that I used to read.

To hopefully share some good things.

Over and Out. 

You can't please everyone

I made a Facebook post yesterday about grandparents....

I realized after I had done it that it would hit a nerve since my situation is probably a minority situation.

I felt really bad about it but I decided to keep it up because it could provide an outlet for how we really feel.

Facebook can be such a fake world, sometimes real is really good.

anyway,

I've been troubled for my entire life because I thought differently, acted differently, behaved differently. The trouble has always come from outside of myself and often from those closest to me.

Why can't I just be like everyone else?

That would make them feel better about themselves, but would make me feel horrible!

As Popeye says "I ams what I ams"

Sometimes you can hold it together just so long and then you pop! ha! I pop with memes.

Then you have to remember who you are going to be held accountable to in this life (God)

Then you have to remember that you are here to serve and not be served.

Then you have to remember that you want to live your life with no regrets because there are no do overs.

I do not take for granted the blessings I have been given in this life. I know that I have been given a gift in that my family is all here. I know that I have been given a gift in that God has provided a way for me to be here and be dedicated to helping, teaching, loving these children.

And that's exactly what I'm going to continue to do because that is all that I know how to do.

I have had to fight against culture my whole life. I had to fight and dig in my heels to be a stay at home mom. I had to fight and dig in my heels to home school my children. And there have been thousands of little and big fights in between for a thousand other issues. I will not compromise. This is too important.

So you are either with me or against me. Either way I will carry on just as I feel that I am being led. I am only responsible for my own conscience.

Wow, a lot more came out than I intended. But I am being real here.

They say that everyone should just do the best they can.

So everyone should just decided what that is and what that looks like to them in their life.

And they should just live their life according

And so will I.

Happy Holidays!

I looked at the calendar yesterday and realized that this week ALL of the holidays of December are in the same week.

So if I say Happy Holidays don't get upset that I'm "taking the Christ out of Christmas" (I'm still not sure that He would be happy about "Christmas")

I'm looking forward to the Solstice*, not because I'm a pagan, but because my body and mind are screaming for more light (physical, actual light, not spiritual--I've got that covered!)

Hanukkah begins next week also. As Christians we don't celebrate this one but if we say we support Israel we better be respectful of their celebrations and festivals. After all these are the people that worship the one true God (unlike the Muslim who do not)

Boxing day in Canada  is the day after Christmas. I know nothing about this holiday other than it is another non-religious holiday and seems to be harmless.  (see my disclaimer below about Halloween)

And finally, Kwanzaa.  I don't know much about this holiday.  I do know that it is a more modern celebration and that it is a cultural, not religious celebration.  I would assume it is on par with St. Patrick's Day.

So, you see, there are many holidays this week. I do not believe that you are somehow lessening Christ if you wish someone a Happy Holiday!

I think Christians should worry way more about their participation in Halloween than in saying Happy Holidays. Just think about how much Happy Halloween is thrown around by Bible believing Christians! Unreal and truly anti-Christ.

*a disclaimer that I must put on here and let the chips fall where they may: I will not acknowledge or well wish on holidays that have anything to do with satanism/muslim/lgbtxyz or anything in that line of thought. And before you call me names that end in "phobic or ism" just click off my page and go along your merry way.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

**I typed this out before the solstice

A Christian Argument for Homeschooling

At church this past Sunday morning the sermon was about Moses coming down off of the mountain after being in God's presence for 40 days and nights.  When he came down carrying the tablets for the second time His face was radiantly shining.  This happened every time he spent time in the presence of God.  He spent time "beholding" God and he was therefore becoming more godly.

Then the pastor said "We become like what we behold"

Well, that got my attention!  I began to take some notes, but gave up in favor of going back and viewing the video later in the day.  The beginning part of his sermon was chock full of reasons why we should home school!  This was, I am sure, not his intention.  But there it was!  There is no denying it!

The following quotes are listed in the order in which they were stated:

"We are influenced by those we spend the most time with"
*Why would we send our children off to a day care or a school building where they are influenced by their teachers and peers for the majority of their productive day?

"It matters who we keep company with"
*Do we really know all of the people that our children come into contact with each day?  Do we trust them?  Do we personally know them?  The children?  Their families?

"We adopt the values, perspectives, and habits from the people we spend the most time with"
*Teachers, aides, students, etc........do we know what the values, perspectives, and habits are of all of these people?  Would we be okay with them if we did?

"Are those people we spend time with good for us?"
*Can you really honestly answer yes to this question? Think about it?

"Do they bring us closer to the Lord or farther away?"
*Public school is never going to bring you closer to God.  It will only drive a wedge of doubt into your child's heart and mind.  It is a place where it is illegal to mention God.

"All our lives we become like what we behold"
*From the cradle to the grave!  We become what we behold.  That is a profound statement in regards to sending your children out of your christian home into a pagan world to learn.

"It benefits us always to make sure that we are gazing upon and investing our time in that which is good and that which is godly"
*I guess you could make a slight argument for some good in public education.  But it does not outweigh the ungodly, not one bit!  And it is progressively getting worse.
A child in public school can easily spend the majority of every school day beholding, investing in, and being influenced by that which is not known for godliness.

As Christians we owe it to our children and our grandchildren to guide them in the way that is right and godly.

A public education, or in my opinion, any education outside of the home, is not in the best interest of Christian children. 

A Tale of Two Ostriches

Sunday morning during fellowship time I poured myself a cup of coffee; bit of cream, no sugar, then I stood at the end of the counter trying to decide who I was going to chit chat with this week.  I try to mix it up so I'm not all cliquey.

As I stood there savoring my first sips of coffee, an older gentleman with a cane came by and picked up a cookie.  As he was looking over all of the other unhealthy options being offered (hehehe) I half-jokingly said "don't eat too many of those!"

*Now, for a bit of back story, this man knows all about Jeff's cancer diagnosis and how we healed it with God and diet.

Well, he proceeded to tell me that I am a control freak and he didn't know how my husband put up with it!  My reply was that, yes, I was in control to a great extent of everything my husband puts into his mouth.  I also told him that it was because I love him and want us to be healthy and strong.

This man went on to state that it didn't matter what you ate in your life, that God has numbered your days and has appointed the time that you will pass on.

I couldn't really argue with that last point, but I did reply that cancer had scared us into eating super healthy!

His reply:  (at this point I decided to let him string enough rope out to make a noose)  "I've had cancer three times! And a heart issue too!  And I'm still here!  (he is 72)  And all that is wrong with me is a bum knee!"

Me:  At this point I'm just hoping that somewhere in his subconscious self lights were beginning to flicker on when he said those things. Just hoping.  So I just said:  "Well then, have a few more cookies, you deserve them!"

Next story

Walking through the grocery store I meet a man I used to work with.  He is older than I and he looks terrible.  He never did look all that healthy before, but now?  Downright awful.  He can't hardly walk due to an injury and his face was all red and puffy.

I decided to share with him our story about changing our diet to mostly plant based.

His reply?  I eat plant based.  All the meat I eat, eats plants.  Well, you can't argue with that logic, can ya?  So I took that opportunity to point out the package of red hot dogs in his cart.  Then Jeff may have said I was a real food critic now.  Then I said I would pray for him.

Last post I think I shared a quote:  "Are we living too short and dying too long?"

These men are set in their ways and unwilling to change.  At this point.  There is always hope.
Jeff is proof of that.

They would rather suffer through years of cancer, heart disease, pain and suffering than to accept the responsibility that great health is within reach.

It's the easiest solution to good health.  It's the hardest solution to good health.

If God has appointed me a certain amount of years, wouldn't I want to live the bulk of them in good health?  YES!!

I share this story in hopes that someone is encouraged.

Don't follow the dietary script!

I listened to a couple of documentaries this morning.  There is a series of five.  I can't possibly just sit and watch them so I turned them up loud and listened to them.  I kept a notebook nearby to jot down information and such.  This is what I found important.  It is very random, but very important!

*Avoid what has been changed (food)
  starting in about 1985 the majority of wheat consumed has been fiddled with and mutated from the
  original wheat that our ancestors ate.  Yes, it's different than what we grew up on (I'm 58).

  This coincides with the drastic rise in auto immune disorders, diabetes, cancer, obesity,  etc....

---seek out alternate grains.  there is still wheat being grown organically from original seed stock.

*Avoid ALL food coloring!  They are petroleum based and our bodies cannot process correctly.
  Better yet, avoid ALL processed foods!  If it has an ingredient list, then forget about it!

Quotes:

"Are we living too short and dying  too long?"

Are we spending a longer amount of our years overweight, in pain, being sick?  I'm thinking we are!

"Leave the food that man made-Eat the food that God made"

Whole Foods!!!

*Fear & Anxiety contribute to poor health and obesity.
  fear/anxiety keeps your body in a constant fight or flight mode which slows your metabolism way
  down.

*Make relaxation a priority
*Let Go!
*Don't pick up what ain't yours!
  this is my mantra lately and it helps!

*Exercise.....walking.....stretching.....yoga......be OUTDOORS!
 Seek opportunities for natural movement throughout the day.  Don't sit too much.


Think about this question

ARE YOU TRAPPED IN CONFORMITY?

I think a lot of people are.  Most people can't give up their bad habits because they don't want to step out and be different.  Just do it!

Drink more tea!

Jeff and I used to be daily coffee drinkers.  We didn't drink a lot of coffee each day.  No more than two large mugs full.......wait!  That is a lot!  He added 3 sugars to his and I usually added 1 sugar to mine.  He liked his very light and I just put a smidge of milk in mine.

On day one of our journey to better health we quit drinking coffee.  We waited about three weeks before we had another cup.  By then the habit was broken.  And it is a habit, an addiction for most folks.  If you can't imagine a day without it then you have a problem.  The first step to overcoming any problem is first admitting that you have one.  Evidently we did and now we don't.

I gave away all of the Maxwell House coffee I had stored in my pantry (about 6 containers) and I also gave away the Keurig coffee machine.

We began to drink tea.  Red (rooibos) for Jeff, and green tea for me. In my research on what tea would be best for us to drink, red tea kept coming up as being the best for Jeff in his situation (cancer diagnosis)  It is much higher in antioxidants than green tea.  This is what we were after.   These are the health benefits we were discovering of drinking red tea:  it is caffeine free.  it is anti inflammatory and anti oxidant, supposedly 50% more than green tea.  It contains the pigment quercetin which has been shown to suppress malignant tumor growth. It is good for your immune system.  I stuck with the green tea because I did not have a diagnosis and it is less costly than the red.

We now  drink tea every morning.  We both take it the same way:  1/2 teaspoon of raw honey, and a smidge of  organic half n half.  In the beginning we drank tea about three times a day.  Now we are usually down to once a day.

Do we drink coffee now?  yes we do!

We buy organic coffee and we use a french press to brew it.  We drink coffee as a treat a couple of times a week--always in the afternoon.  I prepare mine with 1/2 teaspoon of raw honey and a smidge of organic half n half.  Jeff likes his lighter so he adds organic unsweetened coconut milk to his.

Coffee also has antioxidants, but it is high in caffeine and could be unhealthy depending on what you add to it.  We are also now concerned about drinking non organic coffee.

We are both really happy with our decision to break the addiction.  It feels good and right to be in control of what we put into our bodies daily.  Like everything else it is now a want and not a need.

Cook your Oats!

Before we began this plant based way of eating, our breakfasts were typical of most Americans.  I say Americans because that is all I know.  I have no clue what people eat for breakfast anywhere else in the world.

My husband ate 4 eggs and a few slices of bacon every other morning.  On the alternating mornings he ate granola (homemade) with yogurt (store bought sugar laden)

I ate whatever I was drawn to.  I always thought I was eating healthy.  I would sometimes have yogurt (homemade using raw milk, unsweetened) and granola (homemade)
Or I would have a bagel with peanut butter and a banana. Bread was usually always a part of my breakfast.  I would occasionally  eat eggs.

Sometimes, but rarely we would buy a box of cereal.  Whole milk for the husband, and nut milk for me.

Breakfast is now our opportunity to get a dosing of the super nutrition available to us in oats.  We eat oatmeal almost every morning.  If we don't eat oatmeal it's because we are doing a juice fast--that is another topic in the future.

When we have made oatmeal in the past we have just put water in it and shoved it into the microwave for two minutes.  At some point I learned to make a much yummier and satisfying bowl of oatmeal.  This is how I do it:

I use 1 cup of water -you may use milk or nut milk, or a combination as long as it is at least 1 cup.
 1/2 cup old fashioned rolled oats
 1 Tablespoon chia seeds--I alternated every other day with ground flaxseed

**if you like raisins, add a 1/4 cup to the saucepan with the rest of the ingredients
 If we want to have banana or berries, we usually add them to our bowl after the cooking is done.

Place in a saucepan on medium heat and bring to a simmer.  Simmer for 4 minutes.  When done simmering, remove from the heat and put the lid on.  Now wait 10 minutes at least.  The oats will continue to soften and puff up as will the chia seeds.

Transfer your oatmeal to a bowl.  At this point I add 1 tablespoon of coconut oil to the top of the oatmeal.  This is optional.  It adds a little bit of good fat to your meal and helps the cinnamon get yummy creamy!  I don't always do it for myself, but I do it on my husbands because some of his supplements require a fat to be eaten.

Sprinkle cinnamon over the top.  As much or as little as you like.  No cinnamon/sugar--just cinnamon! The bowl on the far right above has the fat--see how the cinnamon melts into it?

Drizzle maple syrup over the top.  I usually measure so I make sure it is no more than 1 teaspoon.

Making the oatmeal this way has made it into a much more satisfying breakfast.  We use mostly organic products and they are all readily available at the grocery or big box stores.  The best place to buy organic old fashioned oats is at a health food store (such as whole foods) that sells in bulk bins.  The organic chia and organic maple syrup I buy at Samsclub.

Breakfast is a very good place to start when you are trying to change habits.  I would suggest starting there and making eating a healthy, low sugar, high fiber breakfast a regular habit.

Just eat what is good for you!

Something I didn't know about before this food journey was that foods fall into different levels of ph.  They are either alkaline forming or acid forming in your body.  This is what I read.  As a gardener I knew that different plants like different soil ph's.  I knew that some foods were acidic.  I had never seen a chart like this one before.

*if this chart is hard to read just google alkaline foods and tons will show up!

This chart helped us a lot.

I also read some things that said blah, blah, blah, you can't change your body's ph, just eat what you want.  Please do not take me as any kind of authority on scientific anything.  I just know common sense.  And since we were in a scary place of not making any excuses for our bad habits, we were willing to heed the advice of this chart.

The foods on the alkaline level of the chart, that are above neutral ph, are so obviously the most healthy things to eat.  The foods that are below neutral ph are less healthy for you.  This is just common sense, right?

Here is what we read:

Eating too much from the acid forming side of the ph scale will cause your body to be out of balance.  It creates an environment of inflammation.  Inflammation in our bodies is responsible for cancers and autoimmune disorders.

Trying to keep your food choices to the alkaline end of the chart and consume the acid forming more sparingly will help keep your bodies flora in balance and keep the inflammation down.  This will help your body fight disease.  Yes!!!

We try to eat alkaline forming foods in large amounts, neutral foods in moderate amounts, and acid forming foods in sparse amounts.  It makes sense, right?  It did to us!!!

Even if you threw out the words alkaline and acid and all of the numbers on the chart, it still makes total sense!  You will only improve your health by eating foods that are at the top of the chart.

So buy lots of leafy greens and start eating healthy!

Just the Basics

In today's post I will try to give just a basic outline of what is in and what is out in each category of food.

Meats

*We eat some kind of meat product  only about once a week on average.  Honestly, when I think about it, it could be even less.  The desire for it is no longer there.
Organic, grass fed when we do eat it.

*NO PORK Products.  Yep.  No bacon, no sausage, no chops, no ribs, no nothing!
**eventually unprocessed pork may be ok if it is pasture raised & organic, but it will be a seldom occurrence.

*Organic chicken is ok.

*We eat eggs from our chickens.  They are organic eggs.  We limit it to 3 each a week.  We prefer to have them as our dinner in a fritatta or with hash brown potatoes.

*Fish is okay no more than twice a week.  We don't eat it that often.  Maybe once or twice a month.  It must be deep water fish (fish that have scales and fins)  Tuna is okay.

*Beef has been off limits to us also.  Red meat and pork are not healthy.  That being said if you eat organic, grass fed beef in limited amounts it will be okay.  Just not a steady diet of it.

Dairy

Ugh.  This was my addiction.  I love me some cheese.

*We now keep only two types of cheese in the fridge.

Parmesan (the real stuff, I haven't found an organic one I want to spend $$$$ on yet, so it is not organic)
Cheddar organic

these are both condiments and used sparingly.  No more cheesy casseroles!

*Milk.  We no longer support the dairy farmers by buying a gallon of milk each week.  We buy organic 1/2 & 1/2 for our tea/coffee.  For all other milk uses we have substituted almond, cashew, or coconut milk.  They are great in cereals and smoothies and just about any other milk use.

*We still use butter, but it is organic and expensive, so it is also used sparingly for that reason.  But we do love to have some bread and butter occasionally!

*No yogurt!!!  We were yogurt fanatics.  Yogurt every day.  Nope.

*Sour cream & cottage cheese--we still buy cottage cheese and sour cream but both organic and they are used about once a week at best.

*No ice cream!  We make "nice" cream on a regular basis so we don't miss it.  (I will make a post about the nice cream soon.  Or just ask me ;)

Fats

We use organic butter, organic virgin coconut oil, and organic extra virgin olive oil.  We try not to overdo it on the fats, but your brain needs fats!

NO CANOLA OR VEGETABLE OIL!

Grains

*Breads:  We only buy good bread from the farmers market or the health food store (they sell bread from local bakers)  Even the grocery store bakery department sells good bread from local bakers.
Mostly I buy sourdough.  We have tried Ezekial bread, but we don't like it so much.  We don't eat bread every day!  I keep it sliced in the freezer and try not to have bread more than twice a week.

*Oats are our most eaten grain.  Organic Old Fashioned Oats.  Every morning.

*We eat barley, quinoa, brown rice -- all organic.  and wild rice.  We eat them as sides and we eat them mixed into salads.  Rice in a veggie salad is awesome!

Sugar

NO REFINED SUGAR!  We use raw honey (local if we can get it) and organic maple syrup.  We use it sparingly.  I no longer bake like I did, but I have been trying my hand at reworking some things to fit a healthier diet.  I also keep liquid Stevia on hand for random times I may want to use it.  My favorite is the stevia flavored water drops.  I find them in the health food store.

Processed Foods

NONE.  We eat as close to the whole food as we can.  We try to minimally process anything.  We eat a lot of Raw vegetable meals.  Nothing goes into the microwave.  Nothing comes from a package.

Legumes

These are our friend.  We try to eat one cup each per day.  We eat them on salads.  Yum....... all kinds........We make soups......yumm.......
Lentils, black beans, chickpeas----hummus!!!!  we eat a lot of hummus

We eat peanut butter and almond butter 

Vegetables

We start with the dark leafy greens and add from there.  The basis to every salad is romaine lettuce, chard, collard, kale, spinach.  EVERY DAY.  Most days twice a day.

We then go with the cruciferous vegetables: broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, etc........

into the salads or stir frys go onions, garlic, bok choy.  Anything that is leafy and green.

You can't go wrong with vegetables.  The average american salad of ice berg, tomato, and cucs is not eaten in this house.

We sometimes go for color!

CARROTS--I can't say enough about carrots.  We buy 25 lbs a week.

We eat white potatoes and sweet potatoes--organic, about once a week

*obviously all the vegetables are organic.

Fruits

We stick with bananas and berries.  I sometimes buy kiwis.  All berries.  Fresh, frozen, organic.  every day.

Nuts and Seeds

We eat almonds, pecans, walnuts, brazil nuts, pumpkin seed, sunflower seed.
We also eat chia seed and flax seed and hemp hearts

Condiments

We don't use too many condiments.  Salad dressing is either just olive oil with seasoning, or a store bought low sugar organic one.  ketchup and bbq sauce are gone.  If I want some I make it with organic canned sauce/paste/honey/seasonings.  Mayo is gone.  If I want some I make it with organic oil and an organic egg.  obviously these don't keep well, so I only make enough to use at the moment.

We use sea salt.  Either Himalayan or Celtic.  MINERALS!

We read labels and try to keep the sugars low. They can be high in condiments

Beverages

NO ALCOHOL!  ugh

WATER, WATER, WATER

Coffee--organic--two cups a week
Red (rooibos) and Green tea every morning

We drink smoothies a few times a week in the evenings.

Obviously I can't address every anomaly in our diet.  This is a start.  From here I will try to share a different idea each day from a different meal.  That way I can rotate through meal ideas and talk more in depth about them.

Also I want to say that if this seems daunting--baby steps.  One change at a time until it becomes a habit.  That is the way to go!

A new way of life

I've been wanting to write about our recent journey.  It's been hard to do it, but if I want nothing but positive things to come of it, then here goes.

Our journey began on April 10th of this year.  Really it began some time in March, but April 10th is the day we received the phone call that sent us on our journey.

The phone call came from the surgeon with the biopsy results of a tumor removed from my husband's colon. 

Cancer.

I looked at my husband and said, "are you ready to change our eating habits now?"

His answer was "yes"

I walked over to the bookshelf and pulled out 2 books that I have had for years.  The Hallelujah Diet and Patient Heal Thyself (which is now called The Maker's Diet, I believe)  I felt like God had been preparing me for this.  I felt like I already knew so much about what to do.  We dove right in.

So the journey I was referring to is a journey to GREAT health! 

With the help of those two books and countless hours on facebook groups and blogs about natural healing of cancer, together we devised a plan for battling this cancer.  We did all of this instantly, we had no idea of what extent this cancer was.  We just knew we needed to get super nutrition started in his body immediately.

**I truly believe that God healed my husbands cancer.  I will write about this separately.

A week later my husband's MRI and CT scan showed absolutely nothing.  The surgeon was amazed by the MRI because he was not at all confident that he had removed it all.  Yet no cancer was showing up.  Hallelujah!

This meant no chemo or radiation (praise God because knowing what we now know we would never agree to it)  The surgeon scheduled a resection surgery for a few weeks later. 

Another week later he called us back and said he wanted to send Jeff to a specialist a few hours away.  He wanted him to take a look and see if it was possible to have a less invasive surgery.  (the tumor was in his rectum)   We gladly went!

Upon being examined by the specialist (1 month after the initial diagnosis) it was found that the tumor sight was shrinking and healing--not growing!!  Hallelujah!  He said yes, he was a perfect candidate for the less invasive surgery.  He was very encouraged by the improvement in the site in one month!  We mentioned the excessive amounts of carrots we were juicing and the turmeric he was taking but he dismissed that as having any relevance.  hmmmmm.

Jeff had outpatient surgery ten days later.  When the surgeon came out to talk to me he said there was barely a mark where the cancer had been and he was highly confident it was gone.  He removed tissue at the site and the margins around it.  He told me he was surprised by how much more it had healed in ten days.  I told him about our diet changes.  He didn't dismiss it this time. 

A week or so later we received the call from the surgeon telling us that all labs came back clear! 

I'm telling this whole story because it leads into this lifelong journey we are now on.  It is a journey to be healthy in our older years.  We are 58 and 60.  We have been healthy thus far.  But colon cancer?!!  This clearly is diet related.  My husband loved to eat all of the things that were not good for him in the long run.  I have always been overweight and he had also put on excess pounds in the last 10 or so years.  This was a wake up call!  We have too much to be healthy for!

This journey we are on is called Whole Foods Plant Based eating.  We are not vegan.  We eat no more than 10% animal products.  Mostly less than 10%.  We eat organic.  Refined sugars are gone.  Anything processed is gone.  Coffee is now a treat twice a week.  Green tea and Red tea took its place.

We began eating this way almost immediately after his diagnosis, not quite three months ago.  He has lost 25 lbs and I have lost 22 lbs.  We feel so much better!  We have so much more energy!  And we are happier!

I am going to try to write about this way of eating in the hopes that it can help someone else.  There is so much information out there and I know it can be a daunting task to figure out what to eat and what not to eat!  I have kept a food journal since day one on everything that we have eaten.  I'm not going to lie and say this is easy!  I think eventually it will just be natural to us and easier.

My next post will cover the basics of how we eat.  I will try to outline it as best I can. 
Questions!!!  I would love to answer any and all questions. 
Obviously we are only three months into this, but so far we have seen nothing but good results. 
Only time will tell about the cancer, but right now we have no reason to believe it will ever come back.
I am hoping to keep us accountable through helping others eat healthier also!

Stay tuned!

Thirty five years

It's a long time

It's a lot of tears

Marriage is hard.

You can't really know someone before you commit.

And then someone changes

Or someone doesn't.

It's what you have

For better or for worse.

There are a lot of betters

There are a lot of worsts.

This is life

This is love.

It's what we are called to do.

Persevere

Giving up is never an option.

We get older.

We get set in our ways.

I'm okay.  Your okay.

We get comfy in our complacency.

We get a glimpse of the fleeting nature of it all.

We always reach out to grab it and then just let it slip through our fingers.

The truth is that for every smiling Facebook photo op

there are 10,000 tears and heartaches behind it.

We are brave.

Those of us who make it past 30 years.

At that point we must be reasonable thinkers.

So much of it is freaking hard

But so much easier than starting over for sure.

I never envy the young.

I would never want to do over one minute of it.

Because I would make the same exact choices.

Because love is irrational, unexplained, everlasting.

Gun Control: a somewhat atypical conservative's viewpoint

First, a few random statements:

1.  It is hard for me to watch the public and the government put so much effort into protecting children's lives when the public and the government are totally okay with murdering the unborn.

2.  I believe that people are inherently followers and like to be told what to think and do by the government.  This is mostly accomplished through the public school system.  Yep.  We all pay for the mind manipulation of children.  Our tax dollars at work!

3.  Most people get all of their information about current events from media of some sort.  All media lies or at the very least distorts the truth to some degree.  I think most people get their "knowledge" of current events from CNN, Fox News, and Facebook Memes.  Not necessarily in that order.

4.  There are way more people who really don't know or care to know anything about current events, yet they will spout off any opinion that fits in with their tribe, mob, peer group, etc.

5.  The NRA (National Rifle Association)  has it's head up it's ass.  They are nothing but a government lobbying group and they ARE part of the problem.  I believe they are in cahoots with the government in it's plan to totally control all citizens.

The Second Amendment
A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

*basically, our rights as citizens of the US, are to be able to own guns to protect ourselves and our country, in an organized fashion (well regulated)

Everyone can argue until the cows come home over what the 2nd amendment actually means.....or we can rely on common sense.

We fought for our independence from an absent, unjust, and greedy government using an army made up of civilians using their own weapons.  That is all we need to consider when deciding what the 2nd Amendment was intending to say.

History DOES repeat itself.  Especially when people don't know their history!

The depravity of human nature is a real thing.
Greed is a real thing.
Hate is a real thing.

I don't know about you, but I want to legally be able to defend myself, my family, my town, my state, from psychos and the federal  government!  I want to be able to legally own an assault weapon.

There!  I said it!

Government stuffed shirts and all brainwashed conservatives!  Listen Up!

>Close the gun show loophole.  Yes.  It does exist in MOST states!
>All gun sales should be limited to age 21+
>background checks should be extensive and the waiting period should be long.
>mandatory gun safety courses should be required for all gun owners.
>limit magazine size
>outlaw bump stocks

The federal government does not want to protect and support legal, responsible gun ownership.
The federal government wants an unarmed citizenry.

Read history books, not the fake news.
We can tighten our gun laws.
Will it stop mass killings? 
No.  Where there is a will there is a way.  Even if ALL guns were outlawed, shootings would still occur.  Probably more often.

The last thing we need is for only the government and the criminals to be armed, as they are one and the same. 

Calico Critters Dollhouse DIY

A few months ago I saw my first Calico Critter and I was in love with them!  I knew that we had to build a dollhouse for the critter family that I was going to get for our granddaughters second birthday. 

I had to do way too much research to figure out what size and what furniture and so on.  

So I have decided to share what I learned and what we did.

The dollhouse is built from a 1 x 8 x 8 of the premium pine from Lowes which cost about $20

The backing is a piece of luann plywood.

The floors are approx. 18 inches

side walls and roof pieces are approx. 12 inches

the angles at the peak and the top of the walls are 30 deg.

hubby used wood glue, a couple of screws and brad nails

I painted it and glued scrapbook paper to the back walls.

The Calico Critters Sandy Cat Family and the Wooden Wonders Dollhouse furniture was purchased through Amazon.  Best price I could find.

I will let the pictures speak for themselves, but it turned out that this furniture is perfect for the Calico Critters!  The furniture is simple and easy for a 2 year old to handle.  

We are so happy with the way this turned out and we are positive that when she receives it she will be so excited!!

I tried to include photos that could help you see how it was constructed and also to see how the furnishings really are.  The size is slightly bigger than calico critter size, and will work with regular dollhouse dolls later on.  They are simple furnishings and cute little critters--perfect for our two year old little grandgirlie!!  

All is Worship

The sermon this morning was about Sunday church service attendance.  The pastor quoted statistics that point out that most evangelical Christians attend church service only twice a month.  (I think my attendance lands at three times a month)

Then he showed graphs showing the attendance from our congregation for the past year that prove that these statistics apply to us as well.

He followed that up with scripture references from Genesis, Exodus, and Leviticus, giving the background of the Sabbath. This is the point I began to have disagreement with his sermon.

These words entered my mind:  All is Worship

God gave us an example to follow in Genesis.  All work and no rest is not in our best interest. 
Then He commanded the nation of Israel  to remember the Sabbath and to keep it holy.  This was then reiterated in the laws given to the nation of Israel.  They were told to honor the Sabbath and do no work.  nada.  zip.  Could they achieve this?  No. But they wanted rules to follow.

Coming together as a congregation on a weekly basis to worship the Lord is a modern invention.  In other words, God didn't command it.  It's what people began to do.  Then the Christians decided to move the Sabbath to another day.  I have a question.  Were the days of the week named at creation?  How do we know that the Sabbath wasn't really on Wednesday?  Does it really matter?

Here is the deal.  Quoting scriptures about the law given to the nation of Israel, as examples of why we should do things now, as Christians, just doesn't work.  It's not supposed to work that way.  We can't follow the law!  That is why we have Jesus.  That is why we have the Holy Spirit living inside us.  The one thing the pastor did say that I agreed with was that we should want to go to church, we should want to support one another and be there for one another.  This is the work of the Holy Spirit, not the law.

Legalism is a hard thing to avoid when blending the Old Testament Law with the New Testament examples as to why we do or should do something.  If we are going to follow New Testament examples on how the early church behaved then we are going to be in for some major changes.  Can I get an Amen!

Do I think that, as Christians, we should be joined to a local assembly?  yes.
So, don't get me wrong--I'm not disagreeing over the importance of church and church attendance.  It is an important part of our Christian walk. 

The sermon went so far as to equate the consistency of our Sunday Service attendance with our level of love for Jesus. ....................
It was stated that by not attending church when you are a professed Christian, you are "trampling" on Jesus.  Skipping church was likened to not loving God enough.  ...........

Now, I could see if he was making a case against those who profess to be Christian but only attend church on Christmas and Easter.  But he showed graphs outlining our attendance.  It was personal, so I felt the accusations were also personal.

At times in my life I have gone for months and months without attending service.  According to what I took away from the sermon, that is apostasy. I would agree if during those months and months I never gave God the time of day.

God deserves our time, attention, and worship daily, not just on Sunday....or whatever the Sabbath is.
As Christians we are indwelt by His Spirit.

All is Worship.

Everything I do.  Everywhere I go.  How I relate.  How I view the world.

All is Worship.

Lumping our worship of God into one day a week is the "works" theology of the nation of Israel.

All is Worship.

Sunday Church Service, to me, is much less about worshiping God and more about being taught the word.  Learning.  Listening. 

Sunday Church Service attendance is a work.  It's what we do because we are Christian.  It's what we need to do because we need other like minded people in our lives. 

Worship begins in the heart.  Worship in the home is ideal.  All is worship.

The day after......

I used to hear of people taking all of their Christmas decorations down on the day after Christmas.  I could never understand it.  Why bother in the first place?

I have come to the conclusion that they deep down are acknowledging the decadent, wasteful, carnality  of the typical American Christmas celebration, and they unknowingly need to cleanse themselves.  I have a lot of respect for these people.  They know there is a problem, but they just can't face it.  At least they can feel it.  The wrongness.

I always feel like I am in the minority in my bare bones Christmas.

*We don't have a tree.  I'm on the fence still about trees.  Will I ever figure it totally out?  Who knows!  I have a strong inclination to think on it as an idol of sorts.  If you have ever thought "it just can't be Christmas without a tree", then it might just be an idol.

*Gifts are minimal at best.  We do a family not-so-secret Santa gift exchange.  One gift per person, including children.  My husband and I also give each grandchild a gift.  We do not gift to each other, never have.  If you have ever thought "it just isn't Christmas without gifts"  then gifts might just be idols.

Are you getting the idea?

You can pretty much take any tradition and somehow make it about Christ if you really want to.  I don't want to.  Somehow I can't imagine how Black Friday Shopping is about our Messiah. 

My next statement will sound pretty strange to you based on what I have just shared:

I like Santa.  I am totally on board with childhood fantasies.  I don't think we should try and make him Christian.  He is fun! 

It's the blending of the carnal and the spiritual aspects of Christmas that I have trouble with.  The older I get the more I believe that Christmas should be more introspective, reverent, a down on your face in prayer kind of holiday. 

The tree, the piles and piles of gifts.  The excess in food and drink.  The gatherings that don't acknowledge the amazing thing God did for us.  He came for us!  He is with us!  The typical American Christmas does not reflect this. 

I still struggle at this time of year.  No tears this year, though.  I've come to terms with a lot of things in this life.  We were somewhat snowed in this Christmas Day.  Lots of  quiet.  Lots of time to think. 

What should a true celebration of our Messiah's first coming look like?

I've got a whole year to think on that.

Happy Day After!

Maine: straight up white milk

White Maine students are least likely in nation to see kids of another race at school

That was the headline in the Bangor Daily News today.

It’s little surprise that Maine — the country’s whitest state — has the country’s most racially homogeneous schools.

This was the first line of the article.  

Questions:  What does writing an article like this hope to prove?    Why is Maine the country's whitest state?  Why do public schools even exist?  

okay......I got a little carried away on that last one.  It's a well known fact that I am not in favor of public education.

Maine is a beautiful state.  Maine is mostly rural with lots and lots of trees.  Maine's biggest industry is now tourism.  Maine has lots of low paying jobs.   Maine is cold and snowy for at least six months of the year.  It gets dark at 3:30 pm in the winter.  Maine is buggy (as in mosquitoes and black flies) for another three months of the year.  Maine gets inundated with tourists for another three months of the year.  

.....am I painting a good picture of why Maine might not be on a majority of peoples lists of places to live?

We moved to Maine from New Jersey.  New Jersey is a very racially diverse state.  Maine is not.  Did that fact have anything to do with our decision to move here.  I would be lying if I said no.  When we were deciding to move away, we were looking for space, breathing room, but staying on the east coast.  We were also looking for a place that very few other people were going to.  Maine fit the bill.  Very few people want to move to a place like Maine.  Some think they do, but what they really want is a vacation.  Life in Maine is hard.  There are very few high paying careers type jobs here.  We love it here , we are making it work.  That's what you have to do to live here:  make it work, live on less, work more, or move away.  Plain and simple.  

I think I got a little long winded there! whew!  

Anyway, when we were looking for a place to live, were we aware of the fact that Maine was the "whitest" state.  Yes we were.  Just like we were aware of other places in the country that were the least "white'  .  If Maine, with all its beauty and shortcomings, just happened to be 90% racially "unwhite" would we have still moved here?  Probably not.  

So, look at it the other way.  If an "unwhite" family was looking for a new home in a new place they might also take into consideration the same things we did.  I don't see that as being racist, but I'm sure some will.

I believe that Maine is the "whitest" state because it's just darn hard to make it here. There are so many other places in this country that life is easier in.  Heck!  did I even mention the rocks?!!!   Just try and grow something here!  lol    In the almost 14 years that we have lived here I have not seen any evidence of racism.  Maine is the land of "live and let live"  Mainers can be very standoffish, but if you need something, anything, no matter who you are or what color your skin, or where you are from, they will be there for you. 

Writing articles like this without having solutions (should there even be one?)  is just plain
"looking for a fight".  Controversy at it's finest.  Should the government force some of us Mainers to move to Detroit?  At least it's still cold there!  Should the government force some native Mississippians to move to Maine?  They would surely freeze and go stir crazy!  

Last I knew this was still a free country and anyone could try and make a go of it anywhere they wanted.  (and could afford to--after all free doesn't apply to everything)

Maine: the way life should be! (once you get above Portland anyway.  )