legacy and hope for the future

my father died on january 1st

this is the speech i gave at the prayer service

*I'm not grieving for the loss of my father.
I'm not sad that he is gone.
My father was a stranger to me.
And I was a stranger to him.
I decided early on to follow a different path.
I guess you could say that I longed for something I didn't have.
I took it all in and purposed to not make the mistakes with my precious family that my father had made with his.

I chose the narrow path that leads to life.
I decided to follow Jesus.
I gave Him my life, my  marriage, and my family.
It hasn't always been an easy road and I've made my share of mistakes along the way.
But I never lost my purpose and my focus.
What it has been is a road of peace and love and forgiveness, if not in my extended family, then for sure in my immediate family.
I have learned so much in this life, but it is a journey and I am not finished learning yet.

I don't want to speak negative words today.
The past is gone.
We have this moment.  Right now.
To make a decision that will not only transform your life, but the lives of those around you.
I've prayed for the salvation of my extended family members for so long. And I will never stop praying and hoping.

I've watched a brother die and not have an assurance that he heard our death bed pleas for him to give his heart to Jesus.

I've watched another brother come to accept the truth after a lifetime of searching for what was missing.  And I've also watched him not fully embrace all that is offered or required of him, until now.

I've watched other siblings struggle through life without direction.  Trying to fill the emptiness with everything else the world has to offer.  Just trying to find the validation of their worth, even if it meant demeaning anothers worth.

And now I watch the next generation go through the same struggles.
It makes me sad to think of their pain, but I know that Jesus is right here.
Waiting patiently for them.
My prayer and hope for all of my family is for them to realize that this is about eternity.
This is about forever.
Our time here is so short.
What a blessing it is when God allows you to get a taste of the peace and joy He has in store for us all.
It is possible.  It is our choice.
We can choose to acknowledge our need of a father.  A father who won't ever fail us.  A father who loves us unconditionally,  walks beside us each and every day of our lives, and has prepared a place for us, with Him, forever.

Just take His hand and let Him lead you.

As for my father, I may have had a sign.
A glimmer of hope in his forever story.
A week before he died I received a text  and this is what it said:
priest came in yesterday and dad had confession and communion.  He talked to the priest for a long time.  He has seemed more at peace since the visit.
As I read this text to Jeff, a music box sitting up on the shelf began to play.  The song was Oh Holy Night
Long lay the world, in sin and error, pining, till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.

I have a hope that Jesus appeared to my father and that he ran into His arms