day #2 feeling out of sorts

have you ever had one of those days where you just felt like you couldn't stand to be in your own body?

your clothes feel wrong, your hair feels wrong, even your skin feels wrong.

yeah, that's how i feel today.

it's been quite a while since i've felt this way.

i swear that it's directly related to what i eat.  i didn't eat extremely horrible this past weekend, but i didn't eat extremely wonderful either.

i also think that it has something to do with my anxiety too.  when my anxiety gets so high for too long i just feel like i either want to run off screaming into the woods, or just go to bed for a few days.

thankfully i have something to keep me from going over the edge in either direction.  something that gives my life purpose and direction.  something that keeps my mind occupied and makes me smile when i absolutely don't feel like it.

want to know what that something is?

blogging ?

i keep thinking....."i gotta update, i gotta update, i gotta update!"

i read these other blogs and they are full of wonderful photos (expensive cameras)

and interesting text.

or they are full of "what i did today"

and then i go all ADD on myself and can't think straight enough to even write about my day, week, month. 

funny, huh?

some days i'm falling apart and i read some blogs and they make me feel better,  or

i read some blogs and i start cursing the person out and saying stuff like "it must be nice to be so 

fing perfect"   (i'm being real here)

i started blogging 9 years ago.  what interested me then?  just knowing that there were others who had

lives similar to mine because it seemed like when you actually know people, like coworkers or the

woman down the road--everyone hides behind a mask.  me too!

that's what i love about my online friends.   no masks.  we can be who we are.

in a book i'm reading this morning i read this:

God created us to be social beings who would crave belonging.

i also read about people being hurt by christians having the attitude that if you have negative,

unhappy feelings then you are not being like jesus.  i've lived with that and still do at times.  it is still

a hot topic in this household

jesus felt negative emotions.  being like jesus does not require that we ignore our negative feelings.

he relied on his father.... if we are Gods children then we are never alone, He is never closer than

when our hearts are aching.

here is a prayer i wrote out in my bible study time a few days ago

dear lord,

you know my fears, whether they be justified or not.
please help me to act on those things that i can control and to
focus on you Jesus to quiet my fears of the things i cannot control.

we are all in this together and there for each other!