Empty Nest Thanksgiving

Every day is a great day to give thanks to God!

But alas!  There is a holiday for this!

I'm thinking that this is our seventh year of being alone on Thanksgiving Day.  I think that we may have gone to MA somewhere in there since our youngest was married, but...pretty much we have been alone......

....Weird to say "alone" because we aren't alone.  We have each other.  And for that I am grateful.

Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday.  I have always struggled with Christmas.  But Thanksgiving was a holiday I could be thankful for.  hehehehe

Coming from a disjointed (I will leave it at that) family, holidays were always difficult for me.  But eventually I had my husband and my children around me. With homeschooling being our lifestyle, the time surrounding Thanksgiving was filled with interesting lessons and projects and the teaching of the "whys" of the day.

But things change and you have to go along with it.  At least on the outside.  The inside takes quite a while.  First the sons grew up and married.  The traditions and celebrations of their spouses families overtook our small celebration in this new home where we had no other family.   Then the daughter grew up and married.  Again, the traditions and celebrations of her husband's family won out over ours. 

We tried for a bit to "fit" ourselves into this new Thanksgiving.  The bits and pieces. Feeling like I would just take any little bit that was left over.  But that didn't make me happy.  We tried going away to a family celebration, but we just wanted to be home for the holiday.

We had to make the decision to open our hands and let go.  I would be lying if I said that this empty nest Thanksgiving was a piece of cake.  It's not.  But we are learning how to cope.  Maybe even learning how to embrace it.  I know it's mostly me, but what affects me, affects my other half.

Last year was the first year that I got through the holiday without breaking down.  We had a big project to work on (chicken pen).  So we worked hard all day while the dinner cooked, then sat down and ate together.  Grateful to be together and to have accomplished something that day.

This year we have another full day of projects planned.  The turkey is already cooked, so just some sides and a pie to be prepared.  I think we have adjusted to this holiday being "just us"  The struggle is still there.  My heart gets weird tugs through the day.  And yes, I still break down and cry a little when I see the pics posted on social media of my family.  Each one of my families sitting around a big table celebrating.  On one hand I'm happy that my children and grandchildren have that.  On the other hand I'm sad that I still don't.  But it's only for Thanksgiving, I know.

I often wonder why it has worked out this way.  I'm always looking for learning experiences in everything.  I know that if I pushed hard enough and my wheel was squeaky enough, I could force my wants on other people.  But I don't and I won't.

I guess the lesson is to let go........and be okay with that.

When it comes to Thanksgiving I can either sink or swim.  I've almost sank a few times, but now I'm swimming like a madman.....

after all.........I need to burn lots of calories to justify that pie!

p.s.  and we get all of the pie for ourselves!